When the sun comes up he settles down
He used to be called Go Get Em Dan
But his get up and go just got up and ran
He’s got a Laz-E-Boy and a teevee set
And a Jack and Coke and a cigarette
And the only thing that Dan’s exerting
Is the oomph it takes for bourbon and fertin
Bourbon and fertin
Bourbon and fertin
How’d he spend his days
Just bourbon and fertin
I tell you Dan was a swinging youth
Every night on the town to tell the truth
Ain’t a single bar he didn’t close
And he’d dance all night to hot combos
He was a rooting tooting yee ha cowboy
In a three-piece suit of corduroy
But Dan’s now every day T-shirting
Just enough clothes for bourbon and fertin
Bourbon and fertin
Bourbon and fertin
How’d he spend his days
Just bourbon and fertin
Dan had a job it was pretty good
He was a mover and shaker in his neighborhood
And he had a girl, a pretty young thing
And he bought his girl a wedding ring
I saw her once, and I tell you, man,
She said she had divorced old Dan
He wasn’t the same, she was asserting
All Dan wanted was bourbon and fertin
Bourbon and fertin
Bourbon and fertin
How’d he spend his days
Just bourbon and fertin
I tell you I once went to Dan
To see why he’s a don’t give a damn man
I went to his house, it was a ruin
TV dinners — bottles — whatever was doin'
Stacked around him, three feet high
And Dan at the center of this human stye
And he looked at me with a knowing eye
And he spoke to me with a knowing sigh
And he says I ain’t the Dan you knowed
My get up and go just got up and go-ed
Now Dan he was a lousy loafer
And laid all day upon his sofer
But maybe there ain’t nothing finer
Than the comfort to be found in a new recliner
So I traded in my clothes of corduroy
And bought myself a Laz-E-Boy
And though it’s frankly disconcertin
My movin and shakin is bourbon and fertin
Bourbon and fertin
Bourbon and fertin
How’d I spend my days
Just bourbon and fertin
© 2018 Max Sparber and Coco Mault
© 2018 Max Sparber and Coco Mault
